hello blogosphere. i missed you.
lunch was suprisingly yummy today. and you couldn't feel any better downing fresh homemade salad after a deliciously unhealthy A1 egg chiffon dinner.
i missed writing. i missed unleashing my emotional crap unto the internet. i envy people who are either free enough or disciplined enough to post regularly.
and here i am sitting in my surgery in between patients trying to squeeze a short post, that's probably not even post worthy. might need to dedicate a blogging night.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
love letter
Dear Daddy,
You see not my iniquities,
and love me dearly.
You lifted me from miry clay,
and cleansed me from my sins.
even when i stray,
You do not leave me.
You search and call for me,
and take me back to Your embrace.
and what price You paid?
the expensive blood of the Lamb.
Your own Son You did not spare,
for the filthy me, You did not.
i will love You forever and ever,
for You loved me first.
You see not my iniquities,
and love me dearly.
You lifted me from miry clay,
and cleansed me from my sins.
even when i stray,
You do not leave me.
You search and call for me,
and take me back to Your embrace.
and what price You paid?
the expensive blood of the Lamb.
Your own Son You did not spare,
for the filthy me, You did not.
i will love You forever and ever,
for You loved me first.
Monday, August 29, 2011
renewed passion
when i received my calling and promise a month ago, i did not understand. i did not know what to do. how can i be so soaked in the presence of God? how can i draw closer to Him? the desire grew, more hungry, more thirsty each passing day. it seems like it's never enough no matter how hard i try to spend time with God. i want more and more and more. i struggled, and never satisfied.
yet God has been so gracious, He did not leave me alone. right after that, KD started his series on the presence of God. was not easy but slowly it opened up my eyes and directed my heart into the right direction. ultimately, the presence of God is the person of God. knowing Him will bring you to constantly experiencing His presence. so i began the quest of knowing God, the very person whose presence we so long for.
i found myself more and more buried into His Word, as i am delving deeper and deeper to know Him more. there is an unquenchable thirst that can only satisfied in knowing Him alone, though knowing Him fully can only happen when i meet Him face to face later in eternity. thus my current life shall be filled with hot pursuit of knowing God. knowing the person of God in entirety.
i found Him in the Word. i found the Father in the Word, from beginning to the end. i found Jesus in the Word, from beginning to the end. i found Holy Spirit in the Word, from beginning to the end. and what's more, since He dwells in us, He is always speaking to us, quicken the Words in our hearts, bringing them up daily, in any circumstances, be it good or bad, happy or sad, joyful, tearful, fearful. and for that to happen, we ought to have a reserve bank for the Words in our heart, don't we? otherwise, where will the Holy Spirit draw those Words from? hence, the source of my hunger. i even attempt to memorise parts of the scripture, although i would be still considered a noob to ko asuy's standard. haha~
this is not something new. this is something we know long ago. reading the Word is something we probably have been doing for many years, although unfortunately without any zeal or passion. i have been reading the bible since i was thirteen (that is more than half my life), yet never with such intensity. for the first time i found real joy in reading the Word, meeting God in them, letting Him speak to me, and keeping those messages in my heart.
go back to the basic. devour His Words with passion and fervency, with a longing heart, with such humility to say "Lord, you know better than i do, teach me" and Words will jump to you! He will reveal Himself to you!
"The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
and all of them are righteous.
They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the honeycomb.
By them your servant is warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalm 19:7-14
read Psalm 119 too if you have some time to spare. i pray you will be so into the Word as the psalmist. be blessed!
disclaimer: this is but one facet of truly knowing God. there are many ways He reveals Himself to us. don't stop praying or worshipping Him. keep pursuing Him, friends :3
yet God has been so gracious, He did not leave me alone. right after that, KD started his series on the presence of God. was not easy but slowly it opened up my eyes and directed my heart into the right direction. ultimately, the presence of God is the person of God. knowing Him will bring you to constantly experiencing His presence. so i began the quest of knowing God, the very person whose presence we so long for.
i found myself more and more buried into His Word, as i am delving deeper and deeper to know Him more. there is an unquenchable thirst that can only satisfied in knowing Him alone, though knowing Him fully can only happen when i meet Him face to face later in eternity. thus my current life shall be filled with hot pursuit of knowing God. knowing the person of God in entirety.
i found Him in the Word. i found the Father in the Word, from beginning to the end. i found Jesus in the Word, from beginning to the end. i found Holy Spirit in the Word, from beginning to the end. and what's more, since He dwells in us, He is always speaking to us, quicken the Words in our hearts, bringing them up daily, in any circumstances, be it good or bad, happy or sad, joyful, tearful, fearful. and for that to happen, we ought to have a reserve bank for the Words in our heart, don't we? otherwise, where will the Holy Spirit draw those Words from? hence, the source of my hunger. i even attempt to memorise parts of the scripture, although i would be still considered a noob to ko asuy's standard. haha~
this is not something new. this is something we know long ago. reading the Word is something we probably have been doing for many years, although unfortunately without any zeal or passion. i have been reading the bible since i was thirteen (that is more than half my life), yet never with such intensity. for the first time i found real joy in reading the Word, meeting God in them, letting Him speak to me, and keeping those messages in my heart.
go back to the basic. devour His Words with passion and fervency, with a longing heart, with such humility to say "Lord, you know better than i do, teach me" and Words will jump to you! He will reveal Himself to you!
"The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
and all of them are righteous.
They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the honeycomb.
By them your servant is warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalm 19:7-14
read Psalm 119 too if you have some time to spare. i pray you will be so into the Word as the psalmist. be blessed!
disclaimer: this is but one facet of truly knowing God. there are many ways He reveals Himself to us. don't stop praying or worshipping Him. keep pursuing Him, friends :3
Thursday, August 18, 2011
love, again
a scripture for when patients are annoying and you've already got a headache, when they demand, when they make you feel like strangling them. or maybe when your boss pushes you around, colleagues are not doing their job and you end up in loadshit of things to do. or maybe when your husband, wife, brother, sister, children get to your nerves.
remember...
God is love. and God's love is in you.
He loves them the same. and so will you.
and remember that...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
do not mistreat them, even when you think they deserve it.
be a witness of love instead.
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
it got me through last wednesday :3
ah, be blessed!
remember...
God is love. and God's love is in you.
He loves them the same. and so will you.
and remember that...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
do not mistreat them, even when you think they deserve it.
be a witness of love instead.
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
it got me through last wednesday :3
ah, be blessed!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
joy of the redeemed
The desert and the parched land will be glad;
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom;
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
the splendor of our God.
strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;
say to those with fearful hearts,
“Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
He will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
He will come to save you.”
Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.
The burning sand will become a pool,
the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.
And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness;
it will be for those who walk on that Way.
The unclean will not journey on it;
wicked fools will not go about on it.
No lion will be there,
nor any ravenous beast;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
and those the LORD has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
-Isaiah 35-
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom;
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
the splendor of our God.
strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;
say to those with fearful hearts,
“Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
He will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
He will come to save you.”
Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.
The burning sand will become a pool,
the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.
And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness;
it will be for those who walk on that Way.
The unclean will not journey on it;
wicked fools will not go about on it.
No lion will be there,
nor any ravenous beast;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
and those the LORD has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
-Isaiah 35-
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Jehovah Jireh
my Father in heaven provides. at the right moment. just the right need.
i know He watches over me.
Why should I feel discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart be lonely
and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches over me.
I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
for His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.
"Let not your heart be troubled",
His tender word I hear,
and resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
though by the path He leadeth
but one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches over me.
i know He watches over me.
Why should I feel discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart be lonely
and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches over me.
I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
for His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.
"Let not your heart be troubled",
His tender word I hear,
and resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
though by the path He leadeth
but one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches over me.
Monday, August 8, 2011
presence-103
our amazing God is full of new revelations each day. the Holy Spirit truly reveals secrets of the Father to us as we walk with Him. i was so blessed with KD's sermon last night, it pieced another puzzle in the great mystery of God.
i was very tired yesterday, came in fifteen minutes late into the 4pm service, straight off a four hour drive from lakes entrance, with red nose and perpetual sneezing, a broken body, yet a hungry spirit. i was so worried i would not concentrate during the sermon and then wouldnt get anything. i was worried for nothing! it was a struggle to keep my eyes open, head buzzing and banging inside, and God is still so good. His words are ever so sharp, spoke right through all those hazy distractions into my heart.
time for lesson three!
the presence of God is not just "here" in church building, but also "there", everywhere else. is not our God omnipresent? how much will our lives change, relishing on this truth? in the presence of the Lord, there is fullness of joy, thus our lives will be full of joy. there is restoration, peace, hope, and so much more! everything the Word says about the presence of the Lord is applicable in our daily lives, because He is here with us, even here with me when i'm crouching ala "abang2" on my chair, typing this message.
furthermore, KD also said, when we're in the presence of the Lord, we will worship automatically. one cannot not worship in the presence of God (please read carefully, double negative on purpose :p). it is a given. thus, true worship is continual too. everyday, every moment, our hearts offers thanksgiving and praises to Him. worship is our adoration to God, not supposed to be something we strive for.
His presence is grace, above everything. it is not us who control it through our worship, through our song selections, through our mood building. it is all by the grace of God. what i am taking home, is that, we truly need to live a life of intimacy with Him, in full obedience, to be pleasing in His eyes. when we do, man, i believe God cannot wait to pour out His grace to us! He loves us so much, u know...
so, one thing i will pursue, is to desire Him, to know Him more and more each day. to walk in intimacy with Him. to soak, be immersed in His presence. to bury myself in His truth, His Word of truth. to be one after His own heart. i pray my heart will never be satisfied, that i will crave, thirst, hunger and long after God, every day of my life. coz i know there is so much more of Him than what i will ever comprehend. i dont think i can have enough of God.
let us be always humbled to bow down before Him.
worship God with your lives, for He is already here with us :3
i was very tired yesterday, came in fifteen minutes late into the 4pm service, straight off a four hour drive from lakes entrance, with red nose and perpetual sneezing, a broken body, yet a hungry spirit. i was so worried i would not concentrate during the sermon and then wouldnt get anything. i was worried for nothing! it was a struggle to keep my eyes open, head buzzing and banging inside, and God is still so good. His words are ever so sharp, spoke right through all those hazy distractions into my heart.
time for lesson three!
the presence of God is not just "here" in church building, but also "there", everywhere else. is not our God omnipresent? how much will our lives change, relishing on this truth? in the presence of the Lord, there is fullness of joy, thus our lives will be full of joy. there is restoration, peace, hope, and so much more! everything the Word says about the presence of the Lord is applicable in our daily lives, because He is here with us, even here with me when i'm crouching ala "abang2" on my chair, typing this message.
furthermore, KD also said, when we're in the presence of the Lord, we will worship automatically. one cannot not worship in the presence of God (please read carefully, double negative on purpose :p). it is a given. thus, true worship is continual too. everyday, every moment, our hearts offers thanksgiving and praises to Him. worship is our adoration to God, not supposed to be something we strive for.
His presence is grace, above everything. it is not us who control it through our worship, through our song selections, through our mood building. it is all by the grace of God. what i am taking home, is that, we truly need to live a life of intimacy with Him, in full obedience, to be pleasing in His eyes. when we do, man, i believe God cannot wait to pour out His grace to us! He loves us so much, u know...
so, one thing i will pursue, is to desire Him, to know Him more and more each day. to walk in intimacy with Him. to soak, be immersed in His presence. to bury myself in His truth, His Word of truth. to be one after His own heart. i pray my heart will never be satisfied, that i will crave, thirst, hunger and long after God, every day of my life. coz i know there is so much more of Him than what i will ever comprehend. i dont think i can have enough of God.
let us be always humbled to bow down before Him.
worship God with your lives, for He is already here with us :3
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