when my world was in darkness
You spoke Your word
night turned into day
Your beauty filled this place
when my world stood in silence
You filled my heart
with songs that never ends
forever i will praise
to think that the universe
could not withhold Your glory
You choose to live in me
i'm so amazed
(and) i worship You Lord
my life in You restored
here is my heart
make it Your sanctuary
for nobody else but Jesus only You
You are faithful and true
glorious Lord
all my life
it is You i adore
You've touched my soul
completed my world i surrender to You
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
the day of rest
today's weather was perfect.
perfect sky, perfect breeze, perfect sun.
three and a half hour of seaside bliss.
still got sunburnt, though.
thanking God :)
yea sis, i'm ready to face tomoro too~
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
unanswered questions and undeniable truth
apparently it's not just me who has unanswered questions. questions on why God does things that are incomprehensible, even by the smartest minds, why God does things that do not make sense at all (at least to those with some so-called common sense).
logic and reason are sometimes the worst enemy of faith. when you need evidence or explanation for everything, it is difficult to have faith. then, we start treading on dangerous ground. there are only two outcomes, either your faith grow as you keep seeking God in order to pursue the questioned truth or you gave up frustrated and decided you don't wanna play with God anymore. that would be too sad, wouldn't it? like a marathon runner that quit halfway just because he couldn't see the finish line. you're giving up something that is certain.
learn to simply believe, shall we? in the end it all comes back to God's sovereignty. i know one truth that is undeniable. God loves us. how much? cannot fully understand yet, but yeah, He loves us. that is for sure.
logic and reason are sometimes the worst enemy of faith. when you need evidence or explanation for everything, it is difficult to have faith. then, we start treading on dangerous ground. there are only two outcomes, either your faith grow as you keep seeking God in order to pursue the questioned truth or you gave up frustrated and decided you don't wanna play with God anymore. that would be too sad, wouldn't it? like a marathon runner that quit halfway just because he couldn't see the finish line. you're giving up something that is certain.
learn to simply believe, shall we? in the end it all comes back to God's sovereignty. i know one truth that is undeniable. God loves us. how much? cannot fully understand yet, but yeah, He loves us. that is for sure.
thursday night at 408
had a wonderful family moment yesterday.
i am happy.
very very happy.
thank you, Lord :)
i am happy.
very very happy.
thank you, Lord :)
Monday, February 15, 2010
a summary
i was lying spread-eagled on my bed last night. back and legs were so sore from an activity loaded weekend, although it was mostly strolling around the CBD. words were swimming in my head, mixed with emotion, mostly gratitude for so many reasons. really really felt like writing but succumbed to the weariness and dozed off at around eleven. i don't remember most of it now, but better something than nothing.
the weekend started real crappy. stormy weather on Thursday that trapped me on the road, in a bus cramped with semi-soaked people, amongst the humidity and sweat and weary faces. took two hours to get home. was hoping dinner with ex-neighbour and sis could cheer me up. it did, a little, but i guess we were all too tired and wet to be cheerful.
nevertheless, things slowly got better, following the weather change (or maybe my mood is just always much better with the sun out). really enjoyed the blissful brunch with my girls, despite taking the wrong tram before eventually got to mart 130. enjoyed the shopping, the most fun shopping i've ever done in ages. enjoyed the chinese new year italian dinner at lois' (yes we had italian), as well the three hours of jenga. enjoyed taking our new canberran (soon to be melbournian as she is moving down in a couple of weeks) friend around. enjoyed celebrating maslan's birthday and getting him all embarassed as a roomful of people suddenly burst into a happy birthday chorus.
felt blessed.
can't remember much about thursday anymore and couldn't care less.
the weekend started real crappy. stormy weather on Thursday that trapped me on the road, in a bus cramped with semi-soaked people, amongst the humidity and sweat and weary faces. took two hours to get home. was hoping dinner with ex-neighbour and sis could cheer me up. it did, a little, but i guess we were all too tired and wet to be cheerful.
nevertheless, things slowly got better, following the weather change (or maybe my mood is just always much better with the sun out). really enjoyed the blissful brunch with my girls, despite taking the wrong tram before eventually got to mart 130. enjoyed the shopping, the most fun shopping i've ever done in ages. enjoyed the chinese new year italian dinner at lois' (yes we had italian), as well the three hours of jenga. enjoyed taking our new canberran (soon to be melbournian as she is moving down in a couple of weeks) friend around. enjoyed celebrating maslan's birthday and getting him all embarassed as a roomful of people suddenly burst into a happy birthday chorus.
felt blessed.
can't remember much about thursday anymore and couldn't care less.
Monday, February 8, 2010
fine lines
no, not talking about wrinkles.
...
there is a fine line between a genuine and a hypocrite.
there is a fine line between "genuinely happy" and "being happy coz you know you are supposed to be happy".
there is a fine line between "not becoming attached to your career/success coz you know that it is not either yours or by your might but all by grace" and "just don't give a damn about it because it is not yours anyway".
there is a fine line between "seriously working hard in your ministry coz you are feeling the utmost gratitude for the greatest grace you have received" and "seriously working hard in your ministry coz you feel that you are obliged to do so in return of all the goodness God has given to you".
there are other fine lines i could come up with, but what for? being able to know where to draw the line is what matters. and we know that what makes the difference is here, deep inside. our hearts. that is where we start fixing.
...
there is a fine line between a genuine and a hypocrite.
there is a fine line between "genuinely happy" and "being happy coz you know you are supposed to be happy".
there is a fine line between "not becoming attached to your career/success coz you know that it is not either yours or by your might but all by grace" and "just don't give a damn about it because it is not yours anyway".
there is a fine line between "seriously working hard in your ministry coz you are feeling the utmost gratitude for the greatest grace you have received" and "seriously working hard in your ministry coz you feel that you are obliged to do so in return of all the goodness God has given to you".
there are other fine lines i could come up with, but what for? being able to know where to draw the line is what matters. and we know that what makes the difference is here, deep inside. our hearts. that is where we start fixing.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
i feel you...
tough year awaits, it seems. so many things i can feel will happen in the first year of my second quarter of a century. really scared of all these unknowns. will i survive? yes, God will make sure of it. i'm in His care. we're in His care :)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
daddy Abe
learned about Abraham this week. to be precise, about his lifestyle and his faith that drove that lifestyle. a faith in the eternal, in what is far more precious than whatever are in this world, which leads to a simple, humble, sojourner's lifestyle, for in his view, life is a mere pilgrimage prior to going home to the eternal city.
this is a very confronting lesson. i tried putting myself in Abraham's shoes (within modern settings of course, for we live in the now). i found that those shoes do not fit the current me. i still want so many things, from clothes, shoes, bags (being a girl, sigh), coffee (nearly becoming my obsession if i'm not careful), to dreaming of one day buying my own car and house (and maybe a second one, and a third one, et cetera) and travel around the world as much as i can. the past two mornings, i could not help glancing at speed's window and contemplating whether i should get that uber-cute dress or not. i've had two cups of truth (that's the name of the coffee stall in campbell arcade) this week although i didn't need it. this is the lifestyle that i am fond of, lavish and comfortable lifestyle, well, as long as i can afford it. greed still reigns in this heart.
i don't understand how he did it, but Abraham never desired wealth nor status, although he had both. he was a very well-off farmer, who chose to live in a tent instead of a nice mansion he certainly would be able to afford. and living in a tent in the middle eastern continental climate is far from comfortable: intense heat during the day and dead cold at night. so why did he not seem to care at all?
8 By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9 By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10 For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
(Hebrews 11:8-10)
by faith, it is.
our lifestyle is a reflection of our heart's attitude, then there must be something wrong with our hearts (i suppose not just something but many things, let's start with digging deeper into this one for now).
like you and me, Abraham still could not see clearly what is ahead, even he would not have had a clue of what the city he was looking forward to is like. but then again, is not faith being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see? Abraham lived right out of this verse, which was written long after his time. KD also mentioned that Abraham had been living Matthew 6:33 as well. he sought nothing but the kingdom of God, but look how bloody wealthy he was! and still all those wealth was not enough to steer him away from his course towards eternity.
simply put, we do not seem to have the divine and biblical perspective Abraham had. hey, we still yearn and love and strife for this world (all those clothes and shoes and bags!!).
how could he had such faith? how can we have such faith?
"the change of perspective can only be done by God, who is beyond us and beyond our minds" - KD
God... help us to see your true worth.
this is a very confronting lesson. i tried putting myself in Abraham's shoes (within modern settings of course, for we live in the now). i found that those shoes do not fit the current me. i still want so many things, from clothes, shoes, bags (being a girl, sigh), coffee (nearly becoming my obsession if i'm not careful), to dreaming of one day buying my own car and house (and maybe a second one, and a third one, et cetera) and travel around the world as much as i can. the past two mornings, i could not help glancing at speed's window and contemplating whether i should get that uber-cute dress or not. i've had two cups of truth (that's the name of the coffee stall in campbell arcade) this week although i didn't need it. this is the lifestyle that i am fond of, lavish and comfortable lifestyle, well, as long as i can afford it. greed still reigns in this heart.
i don't understand how he did it, but Abraham never desired wealth nor status, although he had both. he was a very well-off farmer, who chose to live in a tent instead of a nice mansion he certainly would be able to afford. and living in a tent in the middle eastern continental climate is far from comfortable: intense heat during the day and dead cold at night. so why did he not seem to care at all?
8 By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9 By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10 For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
(Hebrews 11:8-10)
by faith, it is.
our lifestyle is a reflection of our heart's attitude, then there must be something wrong with our hearts (i suppose not just something but many things, let's start with digging deeper into this one for now).
like you and me, Abraham still could not see clearly what is ahead, even he would not have had a clue of what the city he was looking forward to is like. but then again, is not faith being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see? Abraham lived right out of this verse, which was written long after his time. KD also mentioned that Abraham had been living Matthew 6:33 as well. he sought nothing but the kingdom of God, but look how bloody wealthy he was! and still all those wealth was not enough to steer him away from his course towards eternity.
simply put, we do not seem to have the divine and biblical perspective Abraham had. hey, we still yearn and love and strife for this world (all those clothes and shoes and bags!!).
how could he had such faith? how can we have such faith?
"the change of perspective can only be done by God, who is beyond us and beyond our minds" - KD
God... help us to see your true worth.
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