Monday, June 29, 2009

back to work

i took half of thursday and friday off from work, coz i was genuinely sick. then came along saturday and sunday, and when it just started to feel like holiday, it's monday again!

i half dragged my bum out of bed today and boarded the train semi-grudgingly, did not feel like working at all. but guess what? when i got my hands on the probe again, things suddenly felt right.

i'm glad i love my job.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

coughs and sneezes

cold saturday morning, i am sick and so is my sister. funny, how a sick person should have rested as much as one can, i feel energized and wanting to do something beside snuggling in bed with double blanket, just like my sis is doing at the very minute i am typing. nose is still blocked, throat still itches, yet i feel invigorated. bless you, allie!

yeah, so that is why i sneaked out to my desk to ramble.

i haven't been too happy lately.

...
*long pause*

i am thinking hard how to put this so i will not offend anyone. it's a mish-mash of so many things happening in life, that will be difficult to explain properly without revealing too much. basically, human disappoints. God doesn't. and i am fully aware of that fact. that is why i keep on going. and it is not just me who feels the same. life has its own burden for each and every one of us. what to do? have faith and put your hope in the unshakable.

4 days to the Living Water.
expecting something greater than great.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

from lala to lili

happy birthday ame~

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

alice in wonderland (2010)


i wanna watch this!

btw, happy birthday nienie~

Saturday, June 20, 2009

don't judge

i find it hard sometimes not to have my own perception of one's personality and character. just because the way one presents him/herself on the outside, i tend to form my own imaginary version of that person, especially if i have not known that person well enough. and usually, this criticism of one's person eventually leads to judgment, starting from silly things like hairstyle and clothing, to more non-superficial materials like attitude and personality, or even some fabricated goss about some certain skeleton in one's closet, all out of mere perception and opinion.

do not judge a book by its cover. damn cliche, yet so true. in reality, hardly practiced. nobody is perfect, we all have our wrongs and errs and weaknesses in this wretched human body, which we supposedly ought to have surrendered to JC to be conformed into His likeness, but, oh how grandly we fail each time. we all like to be accepted yet so hard to accept others.

1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye

(Matthew 7:1-5)


living in grace, i thought we would be able to do it. not to judge, not to measure someone with our own measuring cup, thus able to offer sincere acceptance to anyone. as sinners who have been completely forgiven and not even condemned, shouldn't it be effortless for us to do the same for others? last night KoTed shared in FA, the more we comprehend God's grace, the more we should be grateful for it, the more we will be changed from the inside.

from the heart.

the reason we have been the way we are, ungrateful and unappreciative of our redeemed life is simply this! we do not fully fathom the depth, breadth, width, the enormity of God's love, mercy and grace for us. hence we still act the way we act: cranky, unforgiving and judgmental.

take this parable for example.

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy–seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. (that is, a few dollars) He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

(Matthew 18:21-35)


that represents us, sometimes... well, most of the time. we have received salvation, we have been saved, we go to church every Sunday and it makes us feel we're much better than all the other people out there. pride is such a cardinal sin. yet, did JC not say, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven"? and true to His Word, JC never did. otherwise, how can such teacher who rebukes sin and cast away demons become so attractive for sinners who have committed evil things?

i've never seen JC's face in physical sense but i can assure you it is full of compassion, forgiveness and acceptance.

they don't see condemning eyes nor judgmental stare. they see love in Him. JC is an absolute magnet for those people consider the filthiest members of society, with a circle of friends that includes the likes of Mary Magdalene and Zacchaeus. JC is the face of compassion and acceptance, and i often get pissed at myself not to be able to pull off even a tenth of such compassion, but hey, i am not gonna stop just there. i will pick myself up again and keep trying, because i believe that this is what He has for me in store.

to be like Him.

and where do i start?

don't judge.

Friday, June 12, 2009

lunchbreak

howdy!
how's everyone enjoying the chill?

i reacted violently to the shocking drop in temperature. runny nose and perpetual sneezing. it's no fun trying to work with your nose going wild underneath your mask. at first i thought it was cardboard dust and the general mess in my living room that triggered it, but no, i concluded that it is the cold.

picked up mere christianity again after long abandoning it for "more interesting" fictions, although i always ended up fallen asleep with it in my lap since i'd only start reading at 11.30pm. but anyhow, do you know that a good reading can encourage you? for example, this article. it's kind lengthy but i assure you, it's very much worth reading. it struck a lot of chords within me, the exact things i have been struggling with, my tug-o-war with God. i am just so glad He is winning most of the time :p

and... i kinda enjoyed the train ride with John Piper this morning. should do it more often :) neighbour!!! share more! i want...

*sorry... random... but not much time to think here...
almost time to go back to work
have a good weekend people~

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

wilde night

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much"
---
Oscar Wilde


Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy–seven times
---
(Matthew 18:21-22)


"You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
---
(Matthew 5:43)


i really had no idea why i started to type that quote about forgiveness. i've just finished one of Wilde's book and i was casually browsing out of curiousity for the controversial author, i stumbled upon a collection of his famous quotes and somehow this one stood out amongst almost a hundred others. why? dunno. i don't think i hold any grudges against anyone at the moment. that was loooong ago. forgiveness released, over and done with.

then i remembered that night driving home from st kilda with the boys - yes, we out of boredom and insanity went to the beach on a cold winter, well, autumn night, engaging ourselves in an ultra-serious conversation about the future, unimaginable to those who know perfectly well our usually silly selves - when one said to the other "you should learn to forgive YOURSELF".

maybe that is what i should do. stop blaming myself for whatever went wrong. stop holding myself responsible for the mess. stop thinking i'm not good enough. those have worn me out. no wonder i felt so tired lately. dammit allie! learn to surrender, will you? God is able.

forgive. and love.