wilde night

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much"
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Oscar Wilde

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy–seven times
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(Matthew 18:21-22)

"You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
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(Matthew 5:43)

i really had no idea why i started to type that quote about forgiveness. i've just finished one of Wilde's book and i was casually browsing out of curiousity for the controversial author, i stumbled upon a collection of his famous quotes and somehow this one stood out amongst almost a hundred others. why? dunno. i don't think i hold any grudges against anyone at the moment. that was loooong ago. forgiveness released, over and done with.

then i remembered that night driving home from st kilda with the boys - yes, we out of boredom and insanity went to the beach on a cold winter, well, autumn night, engaging ourselves in an ultra-serious conversation about the future, unimaginable to those who know perfectly well our usually silly selves - when one said to the other "you should learn to forgive YOURSELF".

maybe that is what i should do. stop blaming myself for whatever went wrong. stop holding myself responsible for the mess. stop thinking i'm not good enough. those have worn me out. no wonder i felt so tired lately. dammit allie! learn to surrender, will you? God is able.

forgive. and love.