fire

today i repented from unbelief. i haven't been able to feel any fire for God, not even a spark inside me for a while, and i tell you, it wasn't just a short while. as doubt and worries for the future crept in, i started to lose faith. i thought it'd pass as it is normal isn't it to have ups and downs in your christian life? yet i longed for the flame to reignite again and i strove so hard to get it back. how wrong have i been?! few hours ago, i found the answer. yep, just like the cheesy yet ever so true compass jingle, Jesus is the answer. not by my might or my power, but all by His grace. i needed grace (always needing it) and i received it. thank you Lord :) love you~

the nothin' box

"what are you thinking?"
"...nothing"

(sigh) men!

mood lighting

long have science proven that light affects human bodily functions, such as our biological clock and hormonal release. pineal gland reacts to the signals sent by the ubiquitously spread photoreceptors in our body, regulating sleep cycle as well as the pituitary, the master control of our hormonal system. okay, before i started to sound too scientific and living the nerd stereotype my sister branded me with, i'll get to the question that has been bugging my mind for the past few days. how come our mood is affected by sunlight as well? is it hormonal? is there any physiological background or is it purely psychological? because i just noticed i am much happier and more enthusiastic at work when the sun in shining brightly outside the surgery window (although i can't really feel the warmth of it on my skin. sobs). i felt good yesterday morning (note: it was sunny), then in crappy mood for the whole arvo (note: it was cloudy) and the pattern followed this morning, when clouds hung low ready to pour down their contents, i felt sluggish and slow and sleepy. can anyone tell me why sunshine is such a mood lifter?

p.s. missing those times in the pic, where we were young and carefree :p and the sun was shining so brightly! i even miss the heat :(

two NOSH-es in a row

i am patient-less and thus workless again (not jobless though, mind you). one of the upside of working for the public is that you get paid (although not much) for twiddling thumbs. since i watched idols last night, i decided to explore their website and stumbled upon their blogs. it is not that interesting. i noticed that so many of them used...

"hi everyone", "howdy", "hello", "gday"

...to start the post and i realized i have done so myself, many times. gosh, that is a boring way to start a blog. i shall not do that anymore. tim's one pretty cool. the first entry goes like this, week one: still not famous. haha.

i feel so isolated at work. no msn. no facebook. my social life is deteriorating. maybe i really should get an iphone and the world will literally be at the palm of my hand, well, at least the virtual world. the only avenue to some other life outside brimbank will be my beloved outlook. so people, when i email you, please reply quickly. it's lonely in here and i am sick of not having any online interaction with you loves.

i'm a big insecure sook, i know. though i'm not usually this emo or melancholic. you know what, this reminds me of the song neighbour asked me last night if i know how to sing it.

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.

such a sweet sweet song~ hey ya allie, you are NOT alone.

an epic world of remorse and resolution - AWT (2009)

you know, when you watch telly, sometimes you wonder if those kind of things in the movies happen in real life. how life can be such a drama. as i get older i came to realise that life is a drama in all its entirety.

i have been trying to solve all the problems in my current life with a view that someday i will have that problem-free period, where i can finally relax and have no worries. hakuna matata, dude. the trouble-free philosophy. however, life does not work that way. learned it the hard way that if life is trouble-free then i would not become who i am now and faith would not grow.

to know God, to know His work, there is no better way than to experience His miracles. and if your life is like driving on a freeway there is no need for God's work in it. fortunately for us, the reality is in this fallen world, there is always trouble for man. even a blameless man like Job was tried more than what any of us might have gone through before or going through now. in the end of it, he got to know God better.

"my ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."

so, there is no need to whine about the broken light and blocked suction in room 5 (i.e. my surgery), nor difficult and demanding patients who look at you with disbelief "she looks 15, she could not be a dentist!" nor apartment owner who increases next term's rent - surprise, surprise - nor any other annoyance in life, may it be big or little. learn to have faith and of course, do your bit to deal with it.

han guuk guan

casual conversations over kimchis and jajangmyeon and the hype from a recent live amateurish yet awesome musical some friends just saw gave birth to a new idea for choir contribution to the newborn compass ministry. i really really really hope it comes to realization. well, let's start with prayer for now :)

nighty night loves~

milk and honey

i haven't really done a stupid thing for a long long time. i thought it was only a trait possessed by my ex-20-floor up neighbour, which is now inherited by my sister, looking at all the little mishaps that have been happening in her day to day. dear dear, it happened to me today. i left my leftover dinner, which i have packed nicely in the takeaway box for lunch, in my friend's car. so i had to go back to the chopping board, trying to whip some edible lunch in 15 minutes before i could watch big bang theory in peace.

not to mention the absolute debacle last monday. you wouldn't wanna know.

now sipping warm milk and honey, feeling oddly relieved after venting some self-directed anger.
time for more big bang theory.

wishing for sunny days

humans are frail beings. yesterday i realised how fragile our souls are. it breaks and crushes easily with the littlest disappointment. even the strongest crumbles under pressure. and that is when you really realise that you DO need God afterall.

and it helps too to have a great company around you, like these special people~ yes, them. and them.

twenty five years and three days and counting. and not wanting another day without You Lord.

l'eau d'issey

i can't get the scent out of my head.
maybe it's time to get another fragrance.