regret

it has been probably over a year since i last visited boxhill, the true chinatown of greater melbourne. i made the trip again this morning, to visit boo. i had a great day laughing over five episodes of how i met your mother, a generous amount of cuddling and super-cheena lunch of dumplings and hot chicken noodle. i have one regret, however.

earlier in the morning, being the self-proclaimed organised girl and perfectionist i am, i checked the train schedule, despite not ended up following it due to the stupid washing machine taking forever to finish my laundry. after chucking the black-clothes-batch into the dryer and dropped by the cup of truth for my coffee, i finally managed to board a lilydale, sat quietly in a fairly empty carriage and started daydreaming.

it was an express train, so it didn't stop at every single station. anyways, in one of the station about midway between the cbd and boxhill, a man came into my carriage and greeted "does anyone have some spare change? i am a schizophrenic and i am not able to work". to be honest, my first reaction wasn't a positive one. i shrugged coz i was kinda afraid. he was tall and unkempt, with scary looking face, the one you dun wanna mess with. i just said sorry quietly and pretending not to look. he made his way along the carriage, until i couldn't hear him anymore.

...then... a tinge of regret came into my heart. it was like, dammit, why should i be scared? this was an opportunity share life. to share Jesus. i started making a scenario of what might have happened if i decided to be nice and helped him. i would rummage my bag to find some change, ask him what his name is, and when i put the coins into his takeaway coffee cup/collection cup, i would simply say, "God bless you, (insert whatever his name is)".

not much to ask, eh? but how difficult to make into reality.
sad, but it really shows our nature :(
oh God help me...