growing pains

it is still winter and miserably chilly outside.

and i feel like writing again.
i don't care if i can't write in pretty language anymore.
i just want to share my thoughts.
:)

life had taken a turn into the fast lane few months ago. things thrown at me one by one, i had no chance to stop and rest, no time to sit and stone, no time to even think about blogging. even now things still have not fallen into place perfectly, my window frame is still leaking worse than ever, i am still a job-hunter and house is still (and i reckon will always be) a mess. i thank God, though, for i am refreshed, more spiritually than physically, considering i've been travelling to places as far as st albans and mt waverley today (by the ever unreliable metro!!), i'm so ready to collapse on the bed. i have been refreshed more than enough to be grateful for all the beautiful things He has done so far and for more beautiful things to come.

i have been stuck doing my job for about a year and a half. still enjoying it, absolutely loooove the people i work with, but also started wondering if this is all there is to dentistry. public dentistry is not really appealing to be honest, especially for young souls thirsty for more in life. so, my job hunting days started. interviews after interviews, ranging from humble dental surgeries to money making dental spas.

apparently, it is relatively hard finding a good private job if you're only one or two year out and does not want to work on saturdays, which is usally the busy day for a private practice. my heart sank when a practice manager told me i should really consider sacrificing saturday if i want a career in private. but, but, saturday is also for You, Lord. what about prayer meetings? what about choir? i have to admit i gave it quite a thought, yet i could not bear stop serving God. no, it is not worth it. there is more to life than just work. so i persevered. back to square one, djs.com.au and adavb employment register.

you know what, i have never thought of what i want in this career before until one prospective employer asked me this question:

"what is your goal in dentistry?"

my spontaneous answer was, "i'm not really sure, haven't thought about it before"

i went home and thought hard about it. and then i realised there is a kind of dentistry that i want to be doing. not fancy specialised dentistry. i want to do simple, basic, family oriented dentistry, and be really good at it. i want to take care of people.

then another one asked today:
"where do you see yourself in five years?"

today, i had the answer :)

God has many plans in me, and i am pretty sure i am not planned for money making dentistry. i am not planned to rob people of their money just to get their teeth two shades lighter. i am planned to take care of people, to take care of families and be rewarded with sincere thank you-s and satisfaction.

and who would have thought i'd found a christian dentist interviewing me today? it'll be interesting to see how things unfold.

i felt i grew up a little bit this week.
i found a direction.
i kinda know where i am going now.
thank You, God.
please always hold my hand when i walk this path.
and help me grow in You, too.

love,

allie <3