homemaking

i've stopped trying to make my house spotless clean. it is no use. one cannot keep up with tidying up the mess of three.

so sad. i want my own house, pity cannot afford one yet.

of boots and heels and thongs

learned a new word today: futzing. unproductive time spent on computer at work. and that is exactly what i am doing at the moment and will be doing for the rest of the day.

not my fault. it's wednesday morning, i am staring at blank appointment book. it rained. the asphalt at my surgery's carpark is still wet from all the resulting moisture. i am wearing my calf boots, soooo comfy! walked to the bus stop and then to work today with no grief from naughty raindrops seeping into my shoes. i hate it when that happens, i like my feet to be warm and dry, thank you. and yes, you're right, this post will be so trivial just because i'm bored here and i don't feel like reading yet. i'm supposed to continue reading outliers since last night it was so hard to put down, yet picking it up again is an entirely different matter. who reads at nine o clock in the morning anyways? so let's talk about shoes.

i live in boots, flats and slippers world. no matter how much i would have needed the extra height and poise you get from heels, i don't seem to be able to befriend them. my feet would start aching badly after an hour, then i would have to bear the pain for x more hours i'm out in those shoes. there is a reason those things are called killer heels. beauty does need sacrifice, however i used to think that it's not worth sacrificing my comfort.

then one night, last night, to be exact, i was browsing online for some spring/summer sandals and bumped into this gorgeous pair of summer heels, that will look fabulous with basically anything! i fell in love <3 the issue is, the heels are 11cm high :( firstly, it will make me taller than boyfriend (yeah he's not blessed in the vertical dimension either). secondly, i might be better off walking in stilts than in those stilettos. i am not used to heels, but i want them. how? how? how? what should i do? sis said all i need is practice.

then again, is it worth it? be pretty and not comfy? or just be yourself no matter how frumpy you'll look?

a really light post (no kidding this time)

it is so hard to put outliers down!
reading is fun!
so, why is it not always the case with the bible?

a little light reading

okay, not so little. quite a lot.

i stumbled upon this as i skimmed through theage.com.au for today's share of news.

interesting? mostly are things we've already known and it is still a bit far-fetched for now. i'd have to look a bit further into the future to be able to picture myself in that situation, but hey, there is nothing wrong with thinking about it now, is it? it is called planning and preparation :p most girls will eventually become wives and mums anyway, but the question is, what kind of wife/mum will they be?

working mum? stay-at-home mum? mum with lots of maids or mbak-s? (i will refer to maid as mbak from now on since that is what i usually call them at home. mbak is actually a polite term to call older sister in javanese culture).

it does annoy me sometime when kids get too spoiled, but now it annoys me more when mums get too spoiled, aka do not really take up the responsibility of motherhood and homekeeping. the article i linked up to were talking about mothering being an extreme sport. getting up every three hours day and night to feed your baby while you're still sore from childbirth, resulting in lack of sleep and irritability. distress that originated from initially being unable to understand why your precious little gem cried his/her little lungs out. hungry? sleepy? need nappy change? bloated? every mother gets to recognise different cries eventually, but it still comes with time. changing nappies and cleaning poo from their precious little bottoms, inhaling the stink that comes from your beloved. and on top of all that, hubby in the background, either sleeping soundly or snoring loudly. no wonder young mums get baby blues.

everyone will say it is worth it, and i believe that i will agree when my turn comes :) now, let's talk about what i wanna talk about.

this crossed my mind when i was scrubbing grime out of my bathroom tiles. this is not the kind of housework most young mum will do nowadays, especially in beloved homecountry, in-do-ne-si-a. spoiled rich mums often take shortcuts, in the form of aides: either the grandma, or mbak. i have nothing against nannas helping taking care of their grandkiddies. it is lovely. nanna is okay, but nanny is a bit, uh... and mbak in indo does not only do nanny's job, they do maid's job as well. lots of young mums in indo are usually very well groomed, with manicured nails i imagine would've never touched a brush to scrub shower tiles or do dishes. i tried painting my nails once and most got chipped as soon as i scrubbed a pot after making dinner. but isn't being a woman, a wife, a mum, essentially and traditionally means cooking, cleaning, sewing, and loving her family and her home? such a pity, a lot of wives nowadays are just trophy wives, not real "functioning" wives.

i give my kudos to all nanna generations who did and still do their houseworks themselves. to stay true to their natural role as the homemaker.

this is nothing against working mums, it is perfectly fine, even the bible said that the wife of a noble character is an amazing businesswoman who also manages her house very well.

i love my job, but i love homemaking too. it's not easy to find the work-life balance, but i will make do, somehow :) coz this is what we're made for. so dear ladies, career and all, you can have it, but stay true to your nature, okay?

felt so satisfied

i don't know if i am being too simple-minded or too easily pleased. i get happy with the slightest things like sunshine and lush green grass.


or maybe i am just blessed :3

growing pains

i'm twenty-six. would you say i am already a grown-up or still growing up? you would've said the first, i hope, yet it is not necessarily the case. i was chatting on bbm with my dear cuz yesterday and we were talking about how far we've gone since high school (we went to the same school!), and we found out that our life is not sorted out yet. mentally, we are so much more mature than before, but on the whole, i don't think we qualify as a settled adult. at least for me, i still feel so young and life is still a big messy blob at the moment!!

i wonder if we will ever finish growing up. i thought the hardest period of your entire life would be the transitional prepubescent to adolescent to young adulthood and things get more stable from then on. in reality, not really. there are always changes, as they always say, the only thing that never changes is the change itself.

you got over the pimply high school period and deciding on schools and universities. check.
you got over the hard scholarly years, drowned in books (unless you were a party animal, unlike me), to finally get your expensive piece of paper with the writings "bachelor of blahblah". check.
you got over resume making, job hunting and fretting about interviews when you finally received your first offer letter. check.
now, all you need to do is to find someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with and then breed and raise a family. good. would life be "settled" from then on?

noooooooooooooooo it doesn't. there is so much shit to learn, still. things you would brush aside quite easily when you were twenty seem to be important now that you are twenty-six. thinking about getting your finances organised for the future? mummy doesn't send munny anymore. balancing work and life without getting too stressed or overthinking it? no more so-called days-off. finding time to do things you want to do for yourself? i haven't been baking or knitting in ages! learning to surrender more to God when there are so many more things you want to control? not checked.

growing up is painful. i dun think i am ready to be a full-fledged adult yet.
but life goes on, yea?

one thing to always remember, is to give thanks :3
then everything won't be so bad anymore.

third day of late melbourne spring

hullo!! been sick of my lazy posts lately? yeah same here... i am sick of not having enough time to chill so i can rev up my brain to think about something to post here. there are so many things in my mind lately yet has not bothered to organise these thoughts into words. i think now is the time.

first thing first, before i forget, isis salam! this chick is cool. i have been following uniform project since year one and was excited when year two kicked off. got a bit disappointed at the previous two pilots, but isis rocked it so far. for more information, click on the link.

secondly, i am hooked on cryptic crossword.
*big grin*

current state of mind: not sure how to describe it. i feel like i have been trapped into a routine, that is almost already set in stone for each week. nothing ever changes much. work work work work work choir church. then i start all over again. it's not like i cannot go out. oh yeah i do go out a lot, but life feels so planned!! i miss having some spare time to kill, where i am not doing things because they are already noted down on my diary. i miss being spontaneous. i am not stressed... just... unsure... need.. to... unwind, perhaps.

i know what i need.
i need a bloody holiday.
far far away where i have no need to think about anything more than what's for breakfast.

*whiiiineeees*

but then again... Psalm 73 :D