into the amazon

when i found out that a friend had been put in a similar position to where i had to be before, i cant help feeling like i was looking at myself few short months ago. the same door which was opened now opens again. the path that leads from it is not easy, i should say. taxing, yes, and frightening. it is not unbearable since, hey, we have our Emmanuel, whom regrettably we often closed our eyes to when we’re faced with life’s giants, leaving Him ignored and sad of our foolish ignorance.

the offer was to be pulled out from our comfort zones and tossed into a completely unknown territory. and that was not all, a huge responsibility awaits at the bottom of the pit. i imagine it’s like being an average office boy suddenly cast into the Amazon and appointed leader of one tribe. i was frightened. i declined ungallantly. said that i was not ready.

i admit that there is a hint of regret for not stepping up to the challenge. many times i thought of where i would be now if i did go to my Amazon. am i still taking God’s path that has been laid down in front of me or did i miss any turn and now i’m astray in the jungle? i am still walking towards the same conclusion, that is Christ, yet this question still bothers me till this very moment: would i end up at the same destination if i was to make a different choice?

i know that the answer is ultimately “yes” since i am currently travelling in the direction of eternity, no matter which path i took. nonetheless, being the curious cat i cannot stop wondering.

oh well…

i shall stop wondering and start living.
living life to its fullest and make sure that i am still heading to the right direction.

perhaps... someday... if i am to face another Amazon, i will brave myself to answer the call and not hiding in my closet. not only to avoid further episodes of pondering and wondering, but also because now I know He will help me make it through :)

one particular pastor said these words once, “don’t wait until you’re ready, you will never do it.” I think it makes perfect sense if we’re to speak the language of God and see through His spectacles. we are made to do HIS good works, not our own works. that is why we will never be ready to do God’s work, if we keep relying on our own hands alone. that is why there is that awesome thing called miracle.

i wanna learn to take the plunge into the realm of the unknown, embark on the journey of faith. i missed one opportunity, i will not miss a second one.

that is just me though.
friend, whatever decision you make, He will always be with you. promise.