tuesday night

dear beloved, i just wanna share this so you don't miss out.

you know what? KD shared about our little sunday night fellowship in menado. and i did not realise at first that it was such a big delight, people gathering and fellowshipping and ended up worshiping the Lord. but then, it was also because i did not realise either that being who we exactly are, that sunday night would ever happen. so it comes down to a conclusion, that it was by the grace of God and the work of the Holy Spirit that we had that sunday night.

and looking at the way the church prayed last night, oh boy, the Holy Spirit is on the move. He shown me the week before that God was feeling really happy that His children came and pray to Him. i felt His heart, his bursting joy. last night, it was something else. He opened up my heart on realising my insignificance in front of the most High, the Holy one. how inadequate our wholehearted praises and worship in front of His glory. how incomplete our understanding and knowledge of Him. He gave me such desperation in my heart that i want to know Him more.

do we realise how important the Holy Spirit is in our very Christian lives? i was at guilt here, has been "shunning" the Holy Spirit all along, for so many years, never asked for His guidance in my everyday lives, while at the same time proclaiming boldly, yeah, Jesus is in me, His Spirit is in me, yet my actions did not acknowledge that fact. i limited His work into mere hours, into praise and worship sessions only, while He is so much more than for us to be able to worship the Lord in tongues or evoking emotion during prayers.

i still remember years ago in FA, ci yuli often shares about what the Holy Spirit put in her heart and how we should learn to listen to His voice. it never got into me until recently, i read this book i borrowed from ex-neighbour (it's awesome! recommended reading: dug down deep - joshua harris). the chapter on holy spirit really struck me. made me went, "what have i done? this is not right, i should repent." so, i did. only two weeks ago, so sad that i have wasted my many years thinking that i know God but in reality never knowing Him fully and completely. now i am learning to know more of this third person of God, the gentle Spirit.

His work starts even before we were saved, for the Holy Spirit is the one who opens up hearts to be able to receive Jesus, for "no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit." He transformed our lives, from sinners to redeemed, guiding us to become more like Jesus each day, helping us when we're reading the Word of God and makes us understand. remember the times when you're reading the Bible and then suddenly you had this revelation of what those words really means after reading them many times before without any effect on you? that was Him telling you what the Father wants you to know.

"The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us."
- 1 Corinthians 2:10-12

He will make us glorify God more because only through Him we can "grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

and there is so much more! so so much more i am not going to put it in here. please go back to your SOM notes :p

to be honest though, i still don't understand much of how God works in my life. He works in His uncanny, mysterious way yet always perfect and i just believe. i don't think this is too late for me to finally commune intimately with His Spirit and i don't think it is too late or any of you either. the seed has been planted through His Words that we hear every week, that we read every day. the growth is there, slowly, but sure. there has been so much fertilizer sprinkled on the soil. the question is, whether the soil of our heart is hardened, rocky, full of thorns or plowed and ready?

quoting ci yuli again, and i'm pretty sure she quoted it from the Bible but i cannot remember the verse >_< "the Holy Spirit is a meek and gentle Spirit". in other words, there is something for us to partake in. i think all we need to do is to put all our effort into surrendering fully onto Him, letting His hand mould us whichever way pleases Him, for we have faith that He is the God who loves us so much that John 3:16 exists.

i hope and i pray that this movement will not stop here, but it will be continual, it will bring perpetual joy in our lives for we will see more and more of Christ with each step we take together with His Spirit. and the best thing is if He is really present in our lives, people will see it, believers and unbelievers alike. they will see the fruit.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."