Confession of a Ministering Mother

I wrote this a few months back, last year to be exact when I just finished ministering at our Christmas service. Marriage and motherhood have stalled me a little bit in updating this blog, but I am hoping and hopeful, that I will be writing a lot more from now on. The passion for the written words has never been quenched, and I am realizing it even more lately.

So, here goes... 

Both my hubby and I serve in the praise and worship team at church, as well as in COOL (cell group). Hubby is also involved in teaching ministry, while I occasionally help in translating ministry. People either mentioned that they appreciate that we are still serving the Lord or asked why we still do even when after having kid. Firstly, I have to say that we are by no means special, we are not the only family with young child(ren) who still ministers. I get where they come from though, I mean, it is an extra hassle in our already hectic day to day life. 

Parenting here is not as easy as back at home in Indonesia where help is abundant. Here, we basically have no one we can easily rely upon to be our child-minder while we do our ministry. If there is one, it has to be pre-arranged and properly planned. So, in most cases, hubby and I have to take turns, and schedule must be meticulously arranged so that no clashes will happen. Sacrifice is required from every side to accommodate our “limited” availability and even little miss H had to sacrifice some of her weekend time with mummy or daddy. We did something crazy last week and went on stage together and left Hannah in some trustworthy hands. It was a bit nerve-wrecking in the sense that, what were we gonna do if she cried? Thank God, all went relatively well. 

So, why? I think it all comes down to where you put God in your life. What is the priority of your life? Hubby picked the verse from Joshua for our wedding theme, " As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." To be honest, I forgot about this for a long time until just recently when I started to ponder a lot about marriage, family, motherhood and how they fit together in the framework of our lives as believers. I truly thank God that it did not become just a motto, but we manage to live those words, despite all the struggles and challenges (such as a sleep-hating baby, and now super active toddler who left us perpetually tired). Here we are, 6 year in, and by the grace of God, still able to serve Him.

I do get a lot of mum guilt, though, for example, yesterday I spent 9am-10pm at church for our super early Christmas celebration. Will she miss me? Will she be good for daddy? Will daddy take good care of her? But then again, when I go to work, I also leave her in the hand of childcare, where she also spends a whole day without me. And she has always been fine. Why should I worry then? Isn't the work that I do for God worth a lot more? Isn't she in the very capable hand of her own daddy who loves her so much? Isn't she in the hand of our heavenly Father who loves immeasurably? OK, mum guilt gone.

Furthermore, this is also a very important lesson for my little miss. I want to teach her about God and about living a life of faith. One of the many ways is to set a life of example for her. Children are excellent imitators. We can use that to our advantage. If we set good example, they will copy whatever good we display. I want to show Hannah, that living serving God, is the way this family lives. This family's life revolves around Jesus, and I pray that through this, she will eventually come to know Jesus as her personal Saviour. She will not be able to deny that Jesus is Lord.

And when that time comes, if I dare to dream, I want to serve together with my husband and my daughter. How beautiful it will be! As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.