not so heavenly post

sometimes you just try to find a reason to make mistakes, so that you can be not-yourself and blame it on something else, when essentially you need to be responsible for your actions. classic female example (i do this all the time): when you're feeling cranky, blame it on the pms. it is a license to be moody.

responsibility sucks but it comes with maturity.
do you want to stay a kid? of course not.
so stop whinging, allie! and do what you need to do.

this is our Father

Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for Heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
A constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches over me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches (I know he watches)
(I know he watches me)

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me (He watches me)
He watches me (I know he watches me)

"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth
But one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted,
Whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing,
When hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
From care He sets me free:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

i'm quitting my job!

got offered another one. time to move on^^

blessed weekend

keywords for the day:
standing, rights, relationships, likeness, business, attitude, consolidation, discipleship, fellowship and lip sik (the last one is courtesy of tika hehehe)

oh what a long week it has been

so tiredddd...

*collapsing on the bed*
*snooze snooze snooze*

growing pains

it is still winter and miserably chilly outside.

and i feel like writing again.
i don't care if i can't write in pretty language anymore.
i just want to share my thoughts.
:)

life had taken a turn into the fast lane few months ago. things thrown at me one by one, i had no chance to stop and rest, no time to sit and stone, no time to even think about blogging. even now things still have not fallen into place perfectly, my window frame is still leaking worse than ever, i am still a job-hunter and house is still (and i reckon will always be) a mess. i thank God, though, for i am refreshed, more spiritually than physically, considering i've been travelling to places as far as st albans and mt waverley today (by the ever unreliable metro!!), i'm so ready to collapse on the bed. i have been refreshed more than enough to be grateful for all the beautiful things He has done so far and for more beautiful things to come.

i have been stuck doing my job for about a year and a half. still enjoying it, absolutely loooove the people i work with, but also started wondering if this is all there is to dentistry. public dentistry is not really appealing to be honest, especially for young souls thirsty for more in life. so, my job hunting days started. interviews after interviews, ranging from humble dental surgeries to money making dental spas.

apparently, it is relatively hard finding a good private job if you're only one or two year out and does not want to work on saturdays, which is usally the busy day for a private practice. my heart sank when a practice manager told me i should really consider sacrificing saturday if i want a career in private. but, but, saturday is also for You, Lord. what about prayer meetings? what about choir? i have to admit i gave it quite a thought, yet i could not bear stop serving God. no, it is not worth it. there is more to life than just work. so i persevered. back to square one, djs.com.au and adavb employment register.

you know what, i have never thought of what i want in this career before until one prospective employer asked me this question:

"what is your goal in dentistry?"

my spontaneous answer was, "i'm not really sure, haven't thought about it before"

i went home and thought hard about it. and then i realised there is a kind of dentistry that i want to be doing. not fancy specialised dentistry. i want to do simple, basic, family oriented dentistry, and be really good at it. i want to take care of people.

then another one asked today:
"where do you see yourself in five years?"

today, i had the answer :)

God has many plans in me, and i am pretty sure i am not planned for money making dentistry. i am not planned to rob people of their money just to get their teeth two shades lighter. i am planned to take care of people, to take care of families and be rewarded with sincere thank you-s and satisfaction.

and who would have thought i'd found a christian dentist interviewing me today? it'll be interesting to see how things unfold.

i felt i grew up a little bit this week.
i found a direction.
i kinda know where i am going now.
thank You, God.
please always hold my hand when i walk this path.
and help me grow in You, too.

love,

allie <3

(no subject)

end of my off week. accomplished much? maybe yes, maybe no.
haven't been writing much at all lately, that is for certain. just has been feeling vulnerable, too vulnerable to expose my innards to the whole world. sorry peeps. will try to be back to writing as soon as possible, i do miss it too.