life can be peculiar sometimes. right when i have thought that i have changed a lot over this blessed 2009, someone pointed out one of my strength that is also one of my biggest flaw. and this is not someone whom i have known for a long long time like you, beloved FA people. this is someone i've only known for barely a month. what are the odds of meeting someone who noticed your flaw in such short period of time and dared to point it out to you when you are just getting to know eachother? freakin daredevil. and it must have been a freakin big flaw.
that's not all. there's still another blow, adding to this sudden initiation of character shaping process. somehow i was deemed irresponsible merely for being too laid back. how if it is actually one's personality to be that kind of person? and it is not that i don't want to change, it just takes time. i am only human and i am fully aware of that fact as i hope other people is, too. so, now i am confused. what sort of person do i have to be?
ah yeah, of course i am not forgetting that we are to become like JC, i know that. i was hoping of something more detailed, like a step by step instruction :p haha i am asking for the lazy way, if not the impossible. where is the learning process if living is just following a step by step manual book?
anyways, one thing i understood from all this, God wants to shape me even more, into His likeness. that is why He tinkered with my character, uprooting and throwing away bad traits, they are not for keeping. i want to become a better person, too, and damn, it is hard not to do things in my own way. surrender, allie, surrender...
i am grateful that they have been opened up for me. i thought i was ok, and apparently i am not. there is still an enormous space for growth. friends, may they be old or new, are always the best mirrors you will ever have for they would be able to show you what you can't see for yourself.
Lord, i thank you for such people :)
xoxo
allie
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