you rediscover love every day.
love you :)
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
tuesday night
dear beloved, i just wanna share this so you don't miss out.
you know what? KD shared about our little sunday night fellowship in menado. and i did not realise at first that it was such a big delight, people gathering and fellowshipping and ended up worshiping the Lord. but then, it was also because i did not realise either that being who we exactly are, that sunday night would ever happen. so it comes down to a conclusion, that it was by the grace of God and the work of the Holy Spirit that we had that sunday night.
and looking at the way the church prayed last night, oh boy, the Holy Spirit is on the move. He shown me the week before that God was feeling really happy that His children came and pray to Him. i felt His heart, his bursting joy. last night, it was something else. He opened up my heart on realising my insignificance in front of the most High, the Holy one. how inadequate our wholehearted praises and worship in front of His glory. how incomplete our understanding and knowledge of Him. He gave me such desperation in my heart that i want to know Him more.
do we realise how important the Holy Spirit is in our very Christian lives? i was at guilt here, has been "shunning" the Holy Spirit all along, for so many years, never asked for His guidance in my everyday lives, while at the same time proclaiming boldly, yeah, Jesus is in me, His Spirit is in me, yet my actions did not acknowledge that fact. i limited His work into mere hours, into praise and worship sessions only, while He is so much more than for us to be able to worship the Lord in tongues or evoking emotion during prayers.
i still remember years ago in FA, ci yuli often shares about what the Holy Spirit put in her heart and how we should learn to listen to His voice. it never got into me until recently, i read this book i borrowed from ex-neighbour (it's awesome! recommended reading: dug down deep - joshua harris). the chapter on holy spirit really struck me. made me went, "what have i done? this is not right, i should repent." so, i did. only two weeks ago, so sad that i have wasted my many years thinking that i know God but in reality never knowing Him fully and completely. now i am learning to know more of this third person of God, the gentle Spirit.
His work starts even before we were saved, for the Holy Spirit is the one who opens up hearts to be able to receive Jesus, for "no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit." He transformed our lives, from sinners to redeemed, guiding us to become more like Jesus each day, helping us when we're reading the Word of God and makes us understand. remember the times when you're reading the Bible and then suddenly you had this revelation of what those words really means after reading them many times before without any effect on you? that was Him telling you what the Father wants you to know.
"The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us."
- 1 Corinthians 2:10-12
He will make us glorify God more because only through Him we can "grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
and there is so much more! so so much more i am not going to put it in here. please go back to your SOM notes :p
to be honest though, i still don't understand much of how God works in my life. He works in His uncanny, mysterious way yet always perfect and i just believe. i don't think this is too late for me to finally commune intimately with His Spirit and i don't think it is too late or any of you either. the seed has been planted through His Words that we hear every week, that we read every day. the growth is there, slowly, but sure. there has been so much fertilizer sprinkled on the soil. the question is, whether the soil of our heart is hardened, rocky, full of thorns or plowed and ready?
quoting ci yuli again, and i'm pretty sure she quoted it from the Bible but i cannot remember the verse >_< "the Holy Spirit is a meek and gentle Spirit". in other words, there is something for us to partake in. i think all we need to do is to put all our effort into surrendering fully onto Him, letting His hand mould us whichever way pleases Him, for we have faith that He is the God who loves us so much that John 3:16 exists.
i hope and i pray that this movement will not stop here, but it will be continual, it will bring perpetual joy in our lives for we will see more and more of Christ with each step we take together with His Spirit. and the best thing is if He is really present in our lives, people will see it, believers and unbelievers alike. they will see the fruit.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."
you know what? KD shared about our little sunday night fellowship in menado. and i did not realise at first that it was such a big delight, people gathering and fellowshipping and ended up worshiping the Lord. but then, it was also because i did not realise either that being who we exactly are, that sunday night would ever happen. so it comes down to a conclusion, that it was by the grace of God and the work of the Holy Spirit that we had that sunday night.
and looking at the way the church prayed last night, oh boy, the Holy Spirit is on the move. He shown me the week before that God was feeling really happy that His children came and pray to Him. i felt His heart, his bursting joy. last night, it was something else. He opened up my heart on realising my insignificance in front of the most High, the Holy one. how inadequate our wholehearted praises and worship in front of His glory. how incomplete our understanding and knowledge of Him. He gave me such desperation in my heart that i want to know Him more.
do we realise how important the Holy Spirit is in our very Christian lives? i was at guilt here, has been "shunning" the Holy Spirit all along, for so many years, never asked for His guidance in my everyday lives, while at the same time proclaiming boldly, yeah, Jesus is in me, His Spirit is in me, yet my actions did not acknowledge that fact. i limited His work into mere hours, into praise and worship sessions only, while He is so much more than for us to be able to worship the Lord in tongues or evoking emotion during prayers.
i still remember years ago in FA, ci yuli often shares about what the Holy Spirit put in her heart and how we should learn to listen to His voice. it never got into me until recently, i read this book i borrowed from ex-neighbour (it's awesome! recommended reading: dug down deep - joshua harris). the chapter on holy spirit really struck me. made me went, "what have i done? this is not right, i should repent." so, i did. only two weeks ago, so sad that i have wasted my many years thinking that i know God but in reality never knowing Him fully and completely. now i am learning to know more of this third person of God, the gentle Spirit.
His work starts even before we were saved, for the Holy Spirit is the one who opens up hearts to be able to receive Jesus, for "no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit." He transformed our lives, from sinners to redeemed, guiding us to become more like Jesus each day, helping us when we're reading the Word of God and makes us understand. remember the times when you're reading the Bible and then suddenly you had this revelation of what those words really means after reading them many times before without any effect on you? that was Him telling you what the Father wants you to know.
"The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us."
- 1 Corinthians 2:10-12
He will make us glorify God more because only through Him we can "grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
and there is so much more! so so much more i am not going to put it in here. please go back to your SOM notes :p
to be honest though, i still don't understand much of how God works in my life. He works in His uncanny, mysterious way yet always perfect and i just believe. i don't think this is too late for me to finally commune intimately with His Spirit and i don't think it is too late or any of you either. the seed has been planted through His Words that we hear every week, that we read every day. the growth is there, slowly, but sure. there has been so much fertilizer sprinkled on the soil. the question is, whether the soil of our heart is hardened, rocky, full of thorns or plowed and ready?
quoting ci yuli again, and i'm pretty sure she quoted it from the Bible but i cannot remember the verse >_< "the Holy Spirit is a meek and gentle Spirit". in other words, there is something for us to partake in. i think all we need to do is to put all our effort into surrendering fully onto Him, letting His hand mould us whichever way pleases Him, for we have faith that He is the God who loves us so much that John 3:16 exists.
i hope and i pray that this movement will not stop here, but it will be continual, it will bring perpetual joy in our lives for we will see more and more of Christ with each step we take together with His Spirit. and the best thing is if He is really present in our lives, people will see it, believers and unbelievers alike. they will see the fruit.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."
Sunday, April 3, 2011
back to 61
i just got back from brisbane. had an awesome day, awesome brisbanites hospitality, but oh how i miss melbourne! so, after ben picked me up, we went straight to 61 from tullamarine, where pretty much every single one of my beloved FA members plus plus plus are. and tonight we were back to the basic. i miss this kind of fellowship, especially that i have been traveling away from melbourne too often lately.
fellowship is not just mere eating and laughing and be merry. faithful sharing, worship and prayer are far more precious than those. and i am blessed, truly blessed by you all, the community of love God placed me in. the community that has been and will keep sustaining me, encouraging me, and cares for me, spiritually, mentally, and physically. pray God pour out His grace more and more upon us so we can keep this up, and grow together in the knowledge of Him.
i love you all <3
fellowship is not just mere eating and laughing and be merry. faithful sharing, worship and prayer are far more precious than those. and i am blessed, truly blessed by you all, the community of love God placed me in. the community that has been and will keep sustaining me, encouraging me, and cares for me, spiritually, mentally, and physically. pray God pour out His grace more and more upon us so we can keep this up, and grow together in the knowledge of Him.
i love you all <3
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Let's get serious, let's get real!
excerpts from KD's sermon in workers prayer meeting. i'm gonna crash on my bed soon so i'll fix the wording later. happy reading peeps!
it was taken from the second book of Timothy, chapter 3. it is said that in the end days, men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.
and this does not happen to just unbelievers but also to the people who confess themselves as Christians, looking religious on the outside yet denying it inside.
stop and think for a moment.
am I a true Christian? or am I just a nominal Christian?
know that every work that we do will be tested with fire in the end, thus our intrinsic value will be revealed, our nominal value gone.
This can happen because we were led to confine our Christian life into a box of time and space, only when we're at church. Our worship, faith, service, ministry becomes superficial because it is not actually in our lives! It is reduced into mere 2-3 hours :( He is the God of our life, not just the God of our church.
let's take a common example. Worship is now reduced to just singing. That is what we call worship nowadays. But do we really live what we are singing? Is it just words we sing about or words we live by? Worship needs to be our life. Worship needs to come out from the heart that knows the Lord. Do you really know whom you worship?
Anything that you believe that doesn't affect our life is useless. It is wasteful. There is no medium ground, either you do it seriously or don't do it at all. Yes for all, or not at all.
These days and time, life is becoming more and more superficial. Take time to ponder on deep questions of life, what do I want in this life, what am I here for? Take time to think of the purpose of your life. Learn to leave our old life behind and let God rebuilt our new life. Strong life is build on conviction, purpose and value. Living by faith is to live with conviction, holding fast onto something that we will never let go, and let it be God, that we won't ever let go.
If my faith doesn't influence my life, it is dead faith! Dead faith equals to no faith, it gives false satisfaction.
We must not let spiritual laziness to creep into our life. If you know that your spiritual life is not right, must not we pray to God to help us?
"Grace is opposed to earning, not effort"
Grace is kairos, when you hear God speaks to you, listen and follow because the time of God (kairos) is not always there. It is maybe your only chance. God works in His time, in His sovereignty and in His will. When you hear His calling, respond to him.
it was taken from the second book of Timothy, chapter 3. it is said that in the end days, men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.
and this does not happen to just unbelievers but also to the people who confess themselves as Christians, looking religious on the outside yet denying it inside.
stop and think for a moment.
am I a true Christian? or am I just a nominal Christian?
know that every work that we do will be tested with fire in the end, thus our intrinsic value will be revealed, our nominal value gone.
This can happen because we were led to confine our Christian life into a box of time and space, only when we're at church. Our worship, faith, service, ministry becomes superficial because it is not actually in our lives! It is reduced into mere 2-3 hours :( He is the God of our life, not just the God of our church.
let's take a common example. Worship is now reduced to just singing. That is what we call worship nowadays. But do we really live what we are singing? Is it just words we sing about or words we live by? Worship needs to be our life. Worship needs to come out from the heart that knows the Lord. Do you really know whom you worship?
Anything that you believe that doesn't affect our life is useless. It is wasteful. There is no medium ground, either you do it seriously or don't do it at all. Yes for all, or not at all.
These days and time, life is becoming more and more superficial. Take time to ponder on deep questions of life, what do I want in this life, what am I here for? Take time to think of the purpose of your life. Learn to leave our old life behind and let God rebuilt our new life. Strong life is build on conviction, purpose and value. Living by faith is to live with conviction, holding fast onto something that we will never let go, and let it be God, that we won't ever let go.
If my faith doesn't influence my life, it is dead faith! Dead faith equals to no faith, it gives false satisfaction.
We must not let spiritual laziness to creep into our life. If you know that your spiritual life is not right, must not we pray to God to help us?
"Grace is opposed to earning, not effort"
Grace is kairos, when you hear God speaks to you, listen and follow because the time of God (kairos) is not always there. It is maybe your only chance. God works in His time, in His sovereignty and in His will. When you hear His calling, respond to him.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Footscray no more
I really miss baking cakes!
Why all of a sudden? Hmmm, I just finished my last day at work and will be coming back to my beloved blimbank next Monday, which will be on valentine's day and I was thinking of bringing some sweet treats in. And I actually thought of baking something when I remembered I will be at a wedding just the night before (and most likely will not go home sober considering lots of my dental friends will be there). Maybe I will just buy some chocolates.
But I wanna bake! :(
*sulk*
Why all of a sudden? Hmmm, I just finished my last day at work and will be coming back to my beloved blimbank next Monday, which will be on valentine's day and I was thinking of bringing some sweet treats in. And I actually thought of baking something when I remembered I will be at a wedding just the night before (and most likely will not go home sober considering lots of my dental friends will be there). Maybe I will just buy some chocolates.
But I wanna bake! :(
*sulk*
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Work? Life?
*yawn stretch stretch*
Woohoo, I'm on a roll today. My third post in one evening! (albeit being done in the comfort of my bed via my super hi tech chrissie present haha).
I was proofreading my last post for the third time after some minor editing, grammar correction and layout adjustment, you know, as I always do with every post, when I noticed on the sidebar that I blogged significantly less in 2010, that is when work started to get busy. Since I am still on the subject of quarter life crisis, my current affliction and thorn in the flesh, I wanted to share my view on work-life balance. How much work do you need to do? And how much life do we need to get, really?
We work to live, not live to work. Cliche. Yet, how many people do live to work? I have a good friend who enjoys his work so much, it might as well be his hobby. Not me though, I love my job but I love to live too. I am probably on the lazier side, wanting to work four days in a week if I can afford it, then I will have more time to spend living. I am still working five days a week, if you're wondering. But yeah, o how I long for less working days. I wouldn't call this sheer laziness. There are so many things I want to do. Productive things. Things that actually matters in life, at least for me, like having time to cook more, so I can eat healthier, to read more, to exercise more, to learn new things (as a matter of fact, basic life skills I haven't mastered yet at the age of 26: swimming and driving). Do devotional routinely and properly, not a rushed one with only few watts energy left. And I definitely want to blog more!
Boo said the other day, maybe you just need to manage your time better. He did not know he was talking to wrong kind of person. Asking a bloody perfectionist to manage her time better is incredibly offensive. And I was a bit too proud and very emotional at that time, so obviously I got angry. Full time work drains one's energy to the extent that when you get home, all you want to do is just to zonk on the bed. But often you have to make dinner first, then do dishes, laundry, throw rubbish out, and run all this household chores before that sweet rendezvous with dear bed. And that's provided you go home straight away. What if you have other things to do after work? Prayer meetings, catching up with friends, appointments. No wonder people get stressed and no wonder I get sick every forthnight.
Sunday's always a busy day for me too. Ministering and serving the Lord brings joy, and it has always been enjoyable. I don't mind pushing myself for it. Yet, sometimes, Sunday night I will go to bed feeling unrested and wondering quietly how on earth am I going to survive the coming week with such battered body.
Anyways, back to what boo was saying, he's got a point, but I think I have a point too. How would you define life? How would you define a fulfilled life? Success? Happiness? I've learned that living is about purpose, about chasing and doing God's purpose in our life, however with all the worldly job we still have and all the worldly responsibilities that we have in that worldly job, surely we still have to do the best? How about our health? Are we not supposed to be looking after our body? Are not we responsible for it? And call me selfish, I still need time to do things I want to do, just to keep me sane. What to do? I really don't know, otherwise, I wouldn't be in such a crisis, would I?
Woohoo, I'm on a roll today. My third post in one evening! (albeit being done in the comfort of my bed via my super hi tech chrissie present haha).
I was proofreading my last post for the third time after some minor editing, grammar correction and layout adjustment, you know, as I always do with every post, when I noticed on the sidebar that I blogged significantly less in 2010, that is when work started to get busy. Since I am still on the subject of quarter life crisis, my current affliction and thorn in the flesh, I wanted to share my view on work-life balance. How much work do you need to do? And how much life do we need to get, really?
We work to live, not live to work. Cliche. Yet, how many people do live to work? I have a good friend who enjoys his work so much, it might as well be his hobby. Not me though, I love my job but I love to live too. I am probably on the lazier side, wanting to work four days in a week if I can afford it, then I will have more time to spend living. I am still working five days a week, if you're wondering. But yeah, o how I long for less working days. I wouldn't call this sheer laziness. There are so many things I want to do. Productive things. Things that actually matters in life, at least for me, like having time to cook more, so I can eat healthier, to read more, to exercise more, to learn new things (as a matter of fact, basic life skills I haven't mastered yet at the age of 26: swimming and driving). Do devotional routinely and properly, not a rushed one with only few watts energy left. And I definitely want to blog more!
Boo said the other day, maybe you just need to manage your time better. He did not know he was talking to wrong kind of person. Asking a bloody perfectionist to manage her time better is incredibly offensive. And I was a bit too proud and very emotional at that time, so obviously I got angry. Full time work drains one's energy to the extent that when you get home, all you want to do is just to zonk on the bed. But often you have to make dinner first, then do dishes, laundry, throw rubbish out, and run all this household chores before that sweet rendezvous with dear bed. And that's provided you go home straight away. What if you have other things to do after work? Prayer meetings, catching up with friends, appointments. No wonder people get stressed and no wonder I get sick every forthnight.
Sunday's always a busy day for me too. Ministering and serving the Lord brings joy, and it has always been enjoyable. I don't mind pushing myself for it. Yet, sometimes, Sunday night I will go to bed feeling unrested and wondering quietly how on earth am I going to survive the coming week with such battered body.
Anyways, back to what boo was saying, he's got a point, but I think I have a point too. How would you define life? How would you define a fulfilled life? Success? Happiness? I've learned that living is about purpose, about chasing and doing God's purpose in our life, however with all the worldly job we still have and all the worldly responsibilities that we have in that worldly job, surely we still have to do the best? How about our health? Are we not supposed to be looking after our body? Are not we responsible for it? And call me selfish, I still need time to do things I want to do, just to keep me sane. What to do? I really don't know, otherwise, I wouldn't be in such a crisis, would I?
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